Restless night.

Got up during the night whilst having difficulty sleeping, just restless so I thought. Went outside for a smoke, went back to bed.

2am - Less than an hour later, heart attack! My symptoms were as follows:

• Discomfort in chest area
• Discomfort in neck area of jawline
• Massive ringing in my ears (pretty sure I was close to going unconscious) 

Luckily my partner was with me at the time, who rang an ambulance and about 30mins later, they arrived. 10mins before they arrived my discomfort in chest and neck had disappeared, and although I am laid on my bed thinking of any other excuse as to what just happenened, I didn't want to admit to myself or my partner that it was a definite heart attack. I think for me, I have always said and thought I had a strong heart (more on this later)

The ambulance guys were great, did the checks, had an ECG, and they noticed something wasn't quite right. So they gave me a choice!!!!!!

1. They could take me to hospital - they made it sound as if i would just go in, get some blood tests done and I would be home in a few hours
2. I could stay at home and carry on

Funny thing is, I thought about just staying home and going back to sleep, I was tired, but my partner was leaning me towards going to hospital, which I knew would be the right thing to do.......so off I went.

Disappointed, no blues and twos though :(

ps...... important to point out here that I felt NO pain at all. So don't always believe whats shown on TV. If you have discomfort, and things don't feel right, then its quite possible a heart attack is in progress and you NEED to react.

So arriving at the hospital, via A+E and found myself having blood tests, further ECG tests and a doctor or two speaking to me about how I felt when I had the heart attack. At this point, it wasn't clear what had happened. There was no proof and not the "classic signs" of a heart attack. So i was hoping it was something else like indigestion or a blip in the rhythm of my heart.

About 9am, a consultant came to speak to me with the results of the blood test and he indicated that the Enzymes from the blood result indicated a heart attack. What type, he couldnt say, minor? major?...... the Enzymes would hold the clues from the blood test. (when you have a heart attack, the heart releases Enzymes and its these Enzymes in a blood test that are the indicators of how your heart has suffered....lower levels indicate a minor, whereas higher levels indicate something a bit more dangerous.....I do not know what levels indicate what, but later I will let you know the levels I reached whilst on the ward)

So here i was, hoping for good news, but I now have some form of proof that I have had a heart attack and when the consultant couldn't say how bad it was, I was still very hopeful that it was a little one. Imagine my surprise when the consultant had finished and started to walk off, stopped the doctor that was with him, and heard him say to the doctor, "ensure you write High Risk on the notes"

That was my first real indication that something was serious and I wouldn't be going home today!

So I find myself on the ward with the rest of the day ahead of me wondering about all sorts of things. What happens next? Whats for lunch? Do i have to wear a gown? Whats going on?

Later that day, a doctor appears on their ward round and has a chat with me. Bearing in mind I have been awake since before 2am. The conversation that I can remember is quite simple. I have had a heart attack, and I will be transferred to Bournemouth hospital as soon as possible to have an angiogram. 

Whats an Angiogram?? Good question because I didn't have a clue at all either. Here's a link to further info if you wish. Basically..... a wire is inserted into an artery (leg or arm) and using monitors they can see your arteries and the health of them.

Can you imagine thinking..... so someone is going to stick a wire down an artery, and as you're thinking this, you're looking at the arteries in your arm and wondering just how the hell are they going to do that?? How painful is that going to be? Jeez..... I'll be honest.... it unnerved me a lot. I didn't want to go through any pain. On the other hand, you're also thinking that it MUST be done if you want to get better and get fixed! Its a tough call. You have to go through the pain barrier to get better. No pain, No gain as we used to say, and still do on occasions.

Now I have the rest of the day and evening to think about this procedure and worry about it. I also have the thought of what will they find and if they do find something, are they able to fix it and how? Well...... with my trusty phone in my hand, I could easily google about angiograms etc etc...... but I am afraid, I am a coward (kind of) I just prefer not to know anything, let the professionals do their thing and hope whatever they do can fix the problem. I completely put my trust and faith in these medical professionals because their training must be so extensive to do this type of procedure. What I also don't want to do is read something and then worry like hell about the procedure and what if something goes wrong. Give me the basics, that will do.

My first night spent on a hospital ward in 20 years. Nothing has changed much, but it wasn't unpleasant. Lots of alarms from other beds, but the Acute Coronary Unit at Poole Hospital is actually a nice relaxing place, just as it should be. The next day I would be in Bournemouth Hospital anyway, so enjoy the evening.

Good morning world I say to myself as the sun is rising over the water in Poole as I look out of the window. I survived another night. Now, why would you think this? Am I close to death? Possibly, but I am connected to a heart monitor so if during the night I have another heart attack, you would hope the nursing staff would react really quickly and revive me, so yes its possible I guess, but as I have always said to people, I have a strong heart, this heart attack was the result of too much smoking and its just a blip.

 Today the thought in my mind that's overtaking everything else is will I be transferred to Bournemouth Hospital today for my angiogram. Having spoken to the day shift nurses this morning, they are telling me how easy the angiogram is and there's nothing to worry about. How many times has someone said this to you about anything? "oh there's nothing to worry about" whatever the worry, its always at the front of everyones mind that there's nothing to worry about. RUBBISH!! Of course you're going to worry, what the heck is this procedure? How are they going to achieve putting a wire through my artery? Will I have another heart attack as they are doing that? Seriously, its a worry, forget when someone says "there's nothing to worry about", what do they know??

Its now mid afternoon and the hope that I will be transferred to Bournemouth Hospital is fading fast. Now the last few days after having text messages and phonecalls to my partner, she knows how anxious I am about this procedure and how gutted I am that I have had a heart attack, its just something I thought would never happen to me. The reason I am mentioning the phonecalls is that the chap next door to me (we are separated by a thin blue curtain) has heard all my phonecalls and conversations with people. I wish I could remember his first name now, but I can't be sure, but I think it could have been Terry, but this guy really helped me and let me explain why......

One time walking to the toilet, he stopped at my cubicle/bed and said the following to me "there's nothing to worry about having an angiogram you know"......I thought, here we go....... "I've had five before and its a quick and easy process, you won't feel anything" 

How would you react if you heard this? Would you think this guy is off his head on medication? Who on earth would have five angiograms?? Well...... Terry had indeed had five angiograms before. He is currently suffering from angina and is in constant pain. From what I could gather, the reason he is on the ward is that the nursing staff are trying to wean him off his pain medication. Terry used to work in the NHS, so he knows a few things.