3rd September

Good morning world I say to myself as the sun is rising over the water in Poole as I look out of the window. I survived another night. Now, why would you think this? Am I close to death? Possibly, but I am connected to a heart monitor so if during the night I have another heart attack, you would hope the nursing staff would react really quickly and revive me, so yes its possible I guess, but as I have always said to people, I have a strong heart, this heart attack was the result of too much smoking and its just a blip.

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 Today the thought in my mind that's overtaking everything else is will I be transferred to Bournemouth Hospital today for my angiogram. Having spoken to the day shift nurses this morning, they are telling me how easy the angiogram is and there's nothing to worry about. How many times has someone said this to you about anything? "oh there's nothing to worry about" whatever the worry, its always at the front of everyones mind that there's nothing to worry about. RUBBISH!! Of course you're going to worry, what the heck is this procedure? How are they going to achieve putting a wire through my artery? Will I have another heart attack as they are doing that? Seriously, its a worry, forget when someone says "there's nothing to worry about", what do they know??

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Its now mid afternoon and the hope that I will be transferred to Bournemouth Hospital is fading fast. Now the last few days after having text messages and phonecalls to my partner, she knows how anxious I am about this procedure and how gutted I am that I have had a heart attack, its just something I thought would never happen to me. The reason I am mentioning the phonecalls is that the chap next door to me (we are separated by a thin blue curtain) has heard all my phonecalls and conversations with people. I wish I could remember his first name now, but I can't be sure, but I think it could have been Terry, but this guy really helped me and let me explain why......

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One time walking to the toilet, he stopped at my cubicle/bed and said the following to me "there's nothing to worry about having an angiogram you know"......I thought, here we go....... "I've had five before and its a quick and easy process, you won't feel anything" 

How would you react if you heard this? Would you think this guy is off his head on medication? Who on earth would have five angiograms?? Well...... Terry had indeed had five angiograms before. He is currently suffering from angina and is in constant pain. From what I could gather, the reason he is on the ward is that the nursing staff are trying to wean him off his pain medication. Terry used to work in the NHS, so he knows a few things.