1st September

Restless night.

Got up during the night whilst having difficulty sleeping, just restless so I thought. Went outside for a smoke, went back to bed.

2am - Less than an hour later, heart attack! My symptoms were as follows:

• Discomfort in chest area
• Discomfort in neck area of jawline
• Massive ringing in my ears (pretty sure I was close to going unconscious) 

Luckily my partner was with me at the time, who rang an ambulance and about 30mins later, they arrived. 10mins before they arrived my discomfort in chest and neck had disappeared, and although I am laid on my bed thinking of any other excuse as to what just happenened, I didn't want to admit to myself or my partner that it was a definite heart attack. I think for me, I have always said and thought I had a strong heart (more on this later)

The ambulance guys were great, did the checks, had an ECG, and they noticed something wasn't quite right. So they gave me a choice!!!!!!

1. They could take me to hospital - they made it sound as if i would just go in, get some blood tests done and I would be home in a few hours
2. I could stay at home and carry on

Funny thing is, I thought about just staying home and going back to sleep, I was tired, but my partner was leaning me towards going to hospital, which I knew would be the right thing to do.......so off I went.

Disappointed, no blues and twos though :(

ps...... important to point out here that I felt NO pain at all. So don't always believe whats shown on TV. If you have discomfort, and things don't feel right, then its quite possible a heart attack is in progress and you NEED to react.

So arriving at the hospital, via A+E and found myself having blood tests, further ECG tests and a doctor or two speaking to me about how I felt when I had the heart attack. At this point, it wasn't clear what had happened. There was no proof and not the "classic signs" of a heart attack. So i was hoping it was something else like indigestion or a blip in the rhythm of my heart.

About 9am, a consultant came to speak to me with the results of the blood test and he indicated that the Enzymes from the blood result indicated a heart attack. What type, he couldnt say, minor? major? ...... the Enzymes would hold the clues from the blood test. (when you have a heart attack, the heart releases Enzymes and its these Enzymes in a blood test that are the indicators of how your heart has suffered....lower levels indicate a minor, whereas higher levels indicate something a bit more dangerous.....I do not know what levels indicate what, but later I will let you know the levels I reached whilst on the ward)

So here i was, hoping for good news, but I now have some form of proof that I have had a heart attack and when the consultant couldn't say how bad it was, I was still very hopeful that it was a little one. Imagine my surprise when the consultant had finished and started to walk off, stopped the doctor that was with him, and heard him say to the doctor, "ensure you write High Risk on the notes"

That was my first real indication that something was serious and I wouldn't be going home today!

So I find myself on the ward with the rest of the day ahead of me wondering about all sorts of things. What happens next? Whats for lunch? Do i have to wear a gown? Whats going on?

Later that day, a doctor appears on their ward round and has a chat with me. Bearing in mind I have been awake since before 2am. The conversation that I can remember is quite simple. I have had a heart attack, and I will be transferred to Bournemouth hospital as soon as possible to have an angiogram. 

Whats an Angiogram?? Good question because I didn't have a clue at all either. Here's a link to further info if you wish. Basically..... a wire is inserted into an artery (leg or arm) and using monitors they can see your arteries and the health of them.

Can you imagine thinking..... so someone is going to stick a wire down an artery, and as you're thinking this, you're looking at the arteries in your arm and wondering just how the hell are they going to do that?? How painful is that going to be? Jeez..... I'll be honest.... it unnerved me a lot. I didn't want to go through any pain. On the other hand, you're also thinking that it MUST be done if you want to get better and get fixed! Its a tough call. You have to go through the pain barrier to get better. No pain, No gain as we used to say, and still do on occasions.

Now I have the rest of the day and evening to think about this procedure and worry about it. I also have the thought of what will they find and if they do find something, are they able to fix it and how? Well...... with my trusty phone in my hand, I could easily google about angiograms etc etc...... but I am afraid, I am a coward (kind of) I just prefer not to know anything, let the professionals do their thing and hope whatever they do can fix the problem. I completely put my trust and faith in these medical professionals because their training must be so extensive to do this type of procedure. What I also don't want to do is read something and then worry like hell about the procedure and what if something goes wrong. Give me the basics, that will do.

My first night spent on a hospital ward in 20 years. Nothing has changed much, but it wasn't unpleasant. Lots of alarms from other beds, but the Acute Coronary Unit at Poole Hospital is actually a nice relaxing place, just as it should be. The next day I would be in Bournemouth Hospital anyway, so enjoy the evening.

strong heart, heart attack, discomfort

2nd September

So its the next morning in Poole Hospital. I've probably slept about an hour, due to several things. Alarms from patients heart monitors going off (including my own) and as its a mixed ward, theres an elderly lady really suffering from pain along with some dementia as she slips out of this world and reality and you can imagine just how frightening it would be for her, not understanding where she is and whats going on. Poor woman.

So with my heart monitor, I can detach myself from it so I can walk to the toilet. This is very useful because there is no dignity whatsoever in using a commode or a cardboard urine bottle, trust me when I say this. However, when needs must, then of course with the curtain pulled around you, you just have to go, despite the fact that everyone can hear you pooping and weeing..... No dignity.

Anyway, here I am starting my 2nd day at Poole Hospital and as I am by the window, I have a great view over the water in Poole. What a great view and how relaxing is that? Very relaxing and for a few seconds, I didn't think about what had happened to me and what I was about to endure.

Breakfast was served and if i can remember, it was cornflakes. I was quite hungry and enjoyed eating that, with a slice of toast as well. Food at Poole Hospital was good, tasty and enjoyable. I was confused however as to why they asked me to fill out a lunch menu and dinner menu because I was going to Bournemouth Hospital for angiogram. How wrong I was!!!! 

My partner turned up later in the afternoon with a few changes of underwear, toiletries and a few other bits to help me get through my day without getting too bored. Later I was asking nurses about what was happening to my transfer to Bournemouth Hospital for my angiogram? Surely I was going to Bournemouth Hospital today? The reply was that was the hope of what would happen, but of course, there had to be a bed available for me for an angiogram. That kind of makes sense doesn't it? Guess what happens when you're worrying about things? Yep..... you don't always think straight and think of the obvious. I was totally focused on my heart attack and the impending angiogram and other things that were on my mind. For instance, only the week before I put my house up for sale..... So I'm also thinking that I should contact the estate agents and let them know whats happened to me and potentially take the property off the market. Anyway....... nurse is indicating it probably won't be today and hopefully tomorrow I will be transferred to Bournemouth.

Hopefully???? Jeez, the worry never ends. So another sleepness night in Poole Hospital is upon me.

commode, poole hospital, heart monitor

3rd September

Good morning world I say to myself as the sun is rising over the water in Poole as I look out of the window. I survived another night. Now, why would you think this? Am I close to death? Possibly, but I am connected to a heart monitor so if during the night I have another heart attack, you would hope the nursing staff would react really quickly and revive me, so yes its possible I guess, but as I have always said to people, I have a strong heart, this heart attack was the result of too much smoking and its just a blip.

 Today the thought in my mind that's overtaking everything else is will I be transferred to Bournemouth Hospital today for my angiogram. Having spoken to the day shift nurses this morning, they are telling me how easy the angiogram is and there's nothing to worry about. How many times has someone said this to you about anything? "oh there's nothing to worry about" whatever the worry, its always at the front of everyones mind that there's nothing to worry about. RUBBISH!! Of course you're going to worry, what the heck is this procedure? How are they going to achieve putting a wire through my artery? Will I have another heart attack as they are doing that? Seriously, its a worry, forget when someone says "there's nothing to worry about", what do they know??

Its now mid afternoon and the hope that I will be transferred to Bournemouth Hospital is fading fast. Now the last few days after having text messages and phonecalls to my partner, she knows how anxious I am about this procedure and how gutted I am that I have had a heart attack, its just something I thought would never happen to me. The reason I am mentioning the phonecalls is that the chap next door to me (we are separated by a thin blue curtain) has heard all my phonecalls and conversations with people. I wish I could remember his first name now, but I can't be sure, but I think it could have been Terry, but this guy really helped me and let me explain why......

One time walking to the toilet, he stopped at my cubicle/bed and said the following to me "there's nothing to worry about having an angiogram you know"......I thought, here we go....... "I've had five before and its a quick and easy process, you won't feel anything" 

How would you react if you heard this? Would you think this guy is off his head on medication? Who on earth would have five angiograms?? Well...... Terry had indeed had five angiograms before. He is currently suffering from angina and is in constant pain. From what I could gather, the reason he is on the ward is that the nursing staff are trying to wean him off his pain medication. Terry used to work in the NHS, so he knows a few things.

4th September

Another restless and sleepness night due to noise and a little worry on my mind as to what I would do today. Would it be watching another Amazon Prime movie on my phone? Would I finally be moved to Bournemouth Hospital? Would the mad woman finally quieten down and relax?

Breakfast consisted of cornflakes again, which I really enjoyed. I was getting a little bored with life on the ward at this point I have to say, I was hoping as a High Risk patient I would have been deemed a bit more urgent as it didn't seem like that I was that High Risk as they suggested. Perhaps they had made a mistake?

Just want to mention that the dementia woman was really kicking off this morning, she must be in her 70's/80's and she was shouting at the nursing staff (no swearing at all) but just being loud and telling the nursing staff to get out of her house! Obviously her house was her room. How she must have struggled to comprehend what was going on. Its a real shame she was there on her own. However, she did spy me across the room, and kept calling me Ernie. I think that was her brother, "Is that you Ernie" "Have you come to see me"....... poor woman must have been lonely. Anyone going into hospital as a single person or having been widowed, must be a terrible and heart breaking experience, it really must be. Its sad, but the nursing staff do an amazing job to talk to you, to people like that, that are lonely, confused, sad, emotional etc etc..... they are so professional and caring, it makes the NHS what is it. For the people, by the people. Its a precious institution we cannot afford to lose ever. 

 Lunch consisted of a Cheese Salad and I have to say it was gorgeous as you will see from the photo potentially. Lovely taste and much needed I think.

After lunch at around 3pm, I had the information that I had been waiting for. I was off to Bournemouth for an angiogram very soon!

 Transfer to Bournemouth was via ambulance with an elderly woman sat in a chair at the back whilst i was on the bed. Much more comfortable. We had to wear face masks for the transfer, but on all the wards I ended up on, masks were not worn by patients, but all nursing staff had to wear a mask. Tough job really wearing a mask and then having to deal with patients in all sorts of manner for their shift. Shifts were normally 12 hours at a time. That's a long time wearing a mask and working!! And you think you have a tough job?

 So we arrived at Bournemouth Hospital and then I was driven by wheelchair to the Coronary Care unit. I was put onto a bed that was lined up in the area of the Angiogram unit. I thought this is quick stuff, straight in, have a stent and I would be out. I was impressed.

About an hour passed by and I was wheeled into the Angiogram area. I think they had at least 2 operating theatres for Angiograms, its what they do at Bournemouth and specialise in. It was explained to me what the procedure entailed. Here is a very quick and simple run down of that procedure from Memory.

1. In one arm, you're given Diazepam of some sort to relax you, not to put you to sleep though.
2. In the other arm, a local anaesthetic is given in the wrist
3. A very thin wire with Dye is injected into your artery
4. The xray screen is then put in place around your neck and chest and the surgeons can see your arteries. heart and the dye running through your arteries and veins
5. A wire is then inserted back into your wrist with a stent balloon for them to expand an artery if they need to

Thats kind of the procedure. Sounds fairly simple, only aches a little bit in various parts of your body, for me it was in the elbow and the underarm, just a gentle ache, nothing major at all.

Unfortunately for me, the surgeons could not insert a stent. I think it was because of the angle of my arteries and veins, but they could have said that to not worry me. They abandoned the procedure as it was too dangerous to proceed. Personally, I think my artery was too narrow even for a wire to enter to attempt to use a stent. The senior surgeon popped his head around from the screen he was using and with a smile said to me, its a bypass. "A bypass" i said? "oh shit" I said

Its ok he was telling me, you'll be fine........ Think I've heard this somewhere before!!